He Doesn't Love me
by kekamarie
Summary: It’s about what happened to Julian and the thoughts that Lillian and Lex have about Lionel.


**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters wish I did though**

**Song: From Tarzan on Broadway, music and lyrics by Phil Collins**

**Summary: It's about what happened to Julian and the thoughts that Lillian and Lex have about Lionel. **

Lex walked into his little brother's room because he had heard him crying. He walked over to the crib and stared at the baby he wasn't breathing and suddenly Lex knew what had happened. He heard the footsteps coming and he tried to leave the room, but his father grabbed him and stared into his eyes.

"What are you doing in here Lex?" Lionel questioned him. He didn't like this scenario he had heard Julian crying and then it had stopped almost abruptly.

Lex just stared at his father he just wanted to leave. He didn't want to be in this room anymore. He watched as Lionel strode over to the crib. He watched as his father tried to find a heartbeat and he noticed that there were tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Lex what have you done?" Lionel asked in a speechless voice he wanted to shout but he couldn't. He went over to Lex and grabbed his son's shoulders.

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry dad." Tears streamed down Lex's cheeks. He knew he couldn't tell his father what had really happened he would hurt his mom worse than he would hurt him.

Lionel just stared into Lex's eyes he hated his son more than ever and range filled him up. He slapped Lex's face and it sent Lex back a few steps. "Get out of here you bastard! Go to your room!" Lionel screamed at Lex at the top of his lungs.

Lex dashed out of the room and ran into his own room. Crying harder and feeling the sting from his father's slap on his cheek. He felt like an outcast he felt like no matter what he did his father would always hate him.

_Will someone tell me where I belong?_

_Where I should go?_

_Can someone tell me where I am going wrong? _

_I need to know_

Lex knew that he had lied to protect his mom but did his father really think he could've killed his brother how could his father think that he was capable of murder? Lex didn't know what to do anymore he had tried so hard to make his dad proud of him and nothing had worked. His mom came into the room and she wrapped her arms around Lex and held him tight.

"Why does he think I did it?" Lex asked his mom tears in his eyes. He didn't understand his father anymore.

"I don't know Lex." Lillian told her son gently feeling guilty that Lex had gotten in trouble for Julian's murder instead of her. She hadn't wanted it to be that way she had just wanted to make Lionel think the baby had died from SIDS.

"I wouldn't hurt him I wouldn't hurt you, not like that." Lex told her knowing that his mom had killed the baby and he knew that she must've had a good reason for it.

"I know Lex, I know." Lillian held her son tighter her heart clenching. This is why she hadn't wanted another child. She didn't like the way Lionel raised Lex. If she wasn't so sick she would take Lex and they would go somewhere far away where Lionel couldn't find them.

_Why would I hurt the ones I love?_

_Why would I hurt you?_

"I just want him to love me mom, I just want to make him proud of me for once." Lex had confessed this all to his mom before and he had to again.

"I know Lex, I wish he was different." Lillian's heart was about to break she hadn't wanted this for her child. She wanted Lex to be happy and he wasn't and knowing that soon she would be leaving him with the man that didn't love him, she felt even worse.

_If I can't be what he wants of me _

_What I am to do?_

_When will I be me?_

_The son that he can't see_

"Are there other kids who have fathers who don't love them or is it just me?" Lex wanted to know. He didn't want to be the only one going through the pain of not having a dad who loved him.

"I'm sure there is Lex and I'm sure there are some kids who don't have either of their parents love them." Lillian wanted to make Lex feel better. She didn't want him to make him feel like he was the only one.

"I'm glad I have you then mom. I love you." Lex was glad to know that he wasn't the only one who wasn't loved by his father.

"I love you too Lex. Now get some rest." Lillian helped Lex get into bed and kissed him goodnight she stared at her son. She didn't want to leave him behind but she didn't know where he could go sooner or later Lionel would find him if she took him somewhere. He may not love him but he would make sure he raised his own flesh and blood.

_There must be somebody who understands out there somewhere_

_When will I find home _

_A place where I belong_

_Surely there must be more like me out there somewhere _

_There must be somebody just like me out there_


End file.
